New Comic 11 - Orson Really Shouldn't Make the Comics

Orson provides an illustration.
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Whut, another delay?

Yeah, looks that way. Ash managed to appendicitis up our whole weekend, and I couldn't really get anything done in the way of drawing while at the hospital. I'll get the strip up as soon as I can!

-Reynard

New Comic 10 - Enter Mr. Wong

The kindly Headmaster makes an appearance!

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Little Strip Delay

Hocraps. There's supposed to be a new comic here this morning, isn't there? Sorry to say, it'll be a little late. I'm hopeful about getting it up before the end of the day, but it could be tomorrow morning. My excuse is that it's enormous. It looked regular-sized in draft, and then once it came time to arrange and ink, wouldn't you know it, but it's twice the size of the strips so far. Your anticipation is deafening.

Seriously, soon as possible. Maybe.

-Rey

Review - Street Fighter

When I was a young boy, Street Fighter (on the SNES, mind you) was very important to me. I read the instruction booklet compulsively. I was deeply entwined in the storyline. M.Bison was the epitome of villainy for many years. I even wondered from time to time if he could defeat Darth Vader. Every match, even if I wasn't playing, was riveting and intensely exciting. I bought the Street Fighter G.I. Joe action figures.
Imagine my excitement and subsequent disappointment when that first Street Fighter movie came out. Now imagine my delicate childhood hopes rekindled when I hear that they are remaking Street Fighter.

If you've no taste for my long winded and arguably insane prose, I will give you the short version of the article now: "This movie was awful. Please do not go see it."

If, on the other hand, you'd care to indulge my rage-fueled tirade then please read on. While I do not hate you, the reader, I will say that I'm going to spoil the movie for you. It is for your own good. If you don't go see it, no one will have enough money to make a sequel. The fewer people that see this movie, the faster it will be pulled out of the movie theatres and buried in the middle of the desert, in concrete. Seriously, this is a goddamn public service announcement.

First Problem: This movie was not at all related to Street Fighter. It took Street Fighter names for people, and organizations, and then made a movie that had absolutely nothing to do with Street Fighter while also neglecting to include several major characters. Despite over 10 years of source material, established stories, etc, some "creative" jacktard decided that he could write the story in a better way. Thanks to this influence Chung Li is a concert pianist, as opposed to a fighter driven to be "the strongest woman in the world", or even an Interpol agent. Bison begins as an Irish baby with cholera that becomes a ruthless businessman/ midwife with no "psycho powers" whatsoever. Gen, a terminally ill assassin in the street fighter games, is here turned into the head the benevolent 'Order of the Web' (An apt name for a completely transparent plot device that feebly strings segments of the movie together).

Charlie Nash is now no longer remotely connected to his game incarnation, as the powers that be have replaced a cool military bad ass with a scruffy looking cop played by an irritating and feeble Keanu Reeves wannabe. Just about the only character I don't have a problem with is Balrog, who is an evil and uncomplicated boxer played by an equally uncomplicated Michael Clarke Duncan. Congratulations, Street Fighter, you got this one down- a character that hits things and enjoys it. That accurate portrayal sure soothed my uncomprehending rage when I found out that the other characters were horrible, misshapen mockeries associated with Street Fighter by name only. I can't really imagine how the sales pitch for this shit even went down.

Writer1: "...Okay, but for this film we'll have him be a ruthless businessman- yeah, that's how he'll come to power!"
Writer2: "Okay, that sort of works. What about all the other stuff?"
Writer1: "What other stuff? You think he needs to be more evil? He's a slum lord for chrissakes."
Writer2: "Well, all my research indicates that 'Bison' wears capes and armor, flies, has incredible psychic powers and may be in some way immortal."
Writer1: "Psychic pow-? C'mon man, scrap that idea. No one's going to buy that. We're not turning him into Ms. Cleo. No one's afraid of Ms. Cleo. Everyone's afraid of big business."

My second problem has less to do with the 'canon' of SF and more to do with the tone of the movie itself. It can't seem to decide if its going to do the 'mystical energy' thing or not. One would assume that because Bison does none of his usual flying, burning, psycho-crushing antics that the movie is going for a 'realistic' tone. However, later on Gen and Chun Li summon balls of energy, and Bison is able to make himself 'completely evil' by taking his new wife to a secret mystical cave and pulling a baby out of her (Definitely one of the film's low points). Chun Li's signature 'Spinning Bird Kick', while artfully set up, is poorly executed, and ends up as nothing more than a silly handstand. Where are you taking us on this one, Street Fighter? Can we shoot mystical energy or can't we? If we can, where are the flash kicks and sonic booms and psycho crushers that
made street fighter what it is? If we can't, then why are you doing that?

The movie concludes with the obligatory attack on Bison's fortress. Curiously for a street fighter movie, this involves very few street-based fights, substituting instead a bland and unimaginative fire fight. If I were to string together every Kimbo Slice underground boxing video the resulting product would contain not only more street fights than this entire movie, but also by comparison come across as a work of staggering depth and genius.

Ultimately this movie is a train wreck, not worth the cost of admission. This is a street fighter movie that attempts to tell an origin story- while using as few fights as possible and ignoring every character's established origin. Even if you snuck into the movie theatre, you've wasted your time. All right, all right- I understand that it's a Street Fighter movie, so its almost impossible for it to be good, but this is above and beyond what I've come to expect as far as shattered childhood hopes go.

-Orson

New Comic 09 - Iron Focus

The guys put on their best poker faces.

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Finally, the Cure for Hook Impotence!

Christ in Cthulu's craw! Sorry it's been so long since I dropped a post! I hope you've been enjoying the comics thus far. Things have been pretty quiet on this end, and training continues along happily. I'm trying to coerce Orson into dishing out a hateful review of the new Street Fighter flick, but he's reluctant to talk about it, having been, judging from the haunted look in his eyes, pretty seriously violated. Once we can coax him out of the shower, maybe he can open up a little, group therapy style.

I do have a little juicy bit for you today. See if you can follow the bouncing train of thought. I was watching some UFC fights, and doing a little reading, and they emphasized the importance of a solid boxing foundation for your standing\striking game, and I fondly thought back on the brief little boxing seminar I took a couple years back. Specifically, to one of the more boxing-specific strikes which I couldn't decide if I loved or hated: the Hook.

Now, I was able to comfortably apply the karate-style striking training I've gotten (lock the arm at a 90 degree angle and torque the hips hard, rotating the front foot,) since using the hips to generate power is pretty universal to powerful striking. The problem I've had, though, is that it is such a short punch. It felt like my forehead would have to be resting against my opponent's just to connect with their head, or else I'd have to drop my guard to deliver to their ribs. I freakin' hate fighting in the clinch, a weakness I've seen (felt, noticed the bruises later,) Orson capitalize upon on multiple occasions.

But NO MORE! I've done a little more reading, and watched some videos, and tested and tried it out. I was focusing too much on the hip torque. More accurately, I was focusing too much on the front foot's rotation. I caught a video which explained how (Like settling into a solid back-stance in Tang Soo Do, or similar karate style,) there was another component: not leaning, persay, but shifting backwards, to put more of the weight on the rear leg. Doing this allows me not only to put more distance between my torso and my target, increasing the overall effective range, but also gives me room to shoot forwards again, adding more mass to a follow up punch. Check out the exceedingly helpful video here.

In another video, an amusingly stout and high-pitched MMA fighter talks about another style of hook, which adds some range, subtracts some power, and makes for a nice set-up. Although a little long, it's worth watching. Watch that one here.

Hope yeh dig, kids, and you had best watch out for my new hook, Orson.

-Reynard

P.S. - And this, too.

New Comic 08 - Insurance Policies

Maus taxes the schools insurance policy.

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New Comic 07 - Disorientation

Orson loses his bearings. Bad move, Orson.

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Review - The Foot Fist Way

So, I picked up this movie because I couldn't stop laughing at the trailer. If you've ever taken any Tae Kwon Do, you'll certainly get a kick out of this, and if you've ever ragged on Tae Kwon Do practitioners, you'll get maybe twice the kick. That said, if you're just going for pure comedy and back-to-back gags, you'll probably find it pretty sparse, in terms of laughs.

In "The Foot Fist Way", Danny McBride (Pineapple Express, Eastbound and Down,) plays Fred Simmons, an overweight, egotistical Tae Kwon Do instructor at a strip mall in the middle of nowhere. As his marriage falls apart due to the efforts nymphomaniac wife, he undergoes a massive existential crisis, and the man he turns to to validate said existence, Chuck 'The Truck' Wallace (read: Chuck Norris,) turns out to be a huge prick, and helps only to ruin his life even further. Not that it was so great to begin with.

There's a bundle of laughs, mostly involving men bullying children, and occasionally there is a little unexpected introspection on the part of our megalomaniac antihero. All in all, a 5 out of 10, for a comedy.

But, here; let me offer an alternate interpretation, which will unabashedly contain spoilers.

This film is actually fantastic, though not as a comedy. What it COULD be, however, is a stark and brutal portrayal of the shattering and rediscovery of the meaning of martial arts in the life of someone who has carried his budo in entirely the wrong direction for too long. The leader of a clearly franchise-style dojang, Simmons (McBride,) has based his life around the idea that 'mastery' (The black belt around his waist,) is meant to impart invincibility, bad-assery, and a personality above reproach. He is generally abusive to his students and wife, and insecurely condescends to everyone, even when he brushes up against the truth of his own mediocrity (He nearly breaks his elbow trying to break concrete with an awkward downward elbow).

Not until his wife is blatantly unfaithful does he look into the mirror and maybe actually see anything approaching reality. Seeking some kind of redemption in a friendship with his hero, he instead is emotionally and physically demolished (Seriously, beat to shit). Right there, at the absolute bottom of his ego, he finds something inside himself. He returns to face Chuck again, at the promotion test of his school, in front of his students. Instead of fighting Chuck literally, they race in a display of classic Tae Kwon Do prowess: Board breaking and flashy kicks. When he wins, (Yeah, I spoiled it and don't give a fuck,) his students embrace him, and it seems he's realized that he doesn't have to be the most bad-ass jerk out there to be inspirational to those around him. He just has to try his best, and care about those around him. He compels a shy student to finally fight back against the class bully, in the first display of concern for the well-being of his students throughout the entirety of the film. Huzzah! Redemption!

Ultimately, if you can imagine it, The Foot Fist Way COULD be a great movie about martial arts being a path not to physical superiority and social dominance, but to quiet confidence, and earnest leadership, even in the heart of a martial arts system (the McDojo, not TKD as a whole, relax...) which is stocked with action-packed windbag heroes, where hard-working role models ought to be.

That, or it really is a 5 out of 10-ish comedy. Whatever.

-Rey

New Comic 06 - The Legend of the Giraffespider

Orson recounts a tale of true and endless horror.

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News - New Site!

Heya folks, sorry for the relative quiet. I've been working away on a new site to host OMRH, and my web design skills are a far stretch from what they once were. I mean, honestly. What the hell is a stylesheet? Despite the curses shouted from my desk over the past few days, I'm making a lot of progress and I aim to have it up and looking sleek soon soon!

Tomorrow we got a real nice comic coming your way, so be sure to stop by!

-Reynard

Hi! I'm the shallow one!

Now that we've got that out of the way, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Orson, and it is unclear what exactly (if anything) I contribute to this comic. Nevertheless, I find myself a willing participant. This is my first web comic as well, and I'd like to go on record promising you even less than Reynard. He and I have known each other for a few years now, so whatever we end up producing... Well, at least we can guarantee it will be... posted, if not funny. Between the two of us there is a strange sense of humor, often times spawned from violently opposed viewpoints. With any luck this means that our comics will run the gamut from wildly sucessful hilarious laugh-athons to really obscure martial-arts nerd jokes.

I suppose its only fair to give you a little background on myself, latecomer that I am. I have been dabbling in martial arts since the tender age of 6, starting first with Judo, then many years later sampling Tae Kwon Do, Tang Soo Do, Capoeira, and Kungfu. Needless to say, I'm a little eclectic.

I practice martial arts because I find it more entertaining and rewarding than other athletic activities I've tried, and the skill set it builds is second to none. Also, that whole "extending the lifespan" thing really does it for me. As an added bonus, every once in a while I am lucky enough to meet some people like Rey and Ash, who share the same interests and seem to tolerate me well enough.

Anyway, that's enough for now. I hope you enjoy reading One More Roundhouse.

-Orson

New Comic 05 - Maus' Arrival

The hardest working man in class makes a late arrival!

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Ostritch Fighter Turbo!

See? Like I said, pure flattery. I got a notification from Amazon today, and my pre-order of 'The Foot Fist Way' has shipped, and I'm sure I'll feel obligated to review it as soon as it has invaded my optical nerves in an onslaught of Danny McBride, Tae Kwan Do, deadpan hilarity. Not that Tae Kwan Do is, in itself, funny.

Okay, maybe it's a little funny. I mean, have you seen Olympic TKD? They fight like ostriches!

So, next week's comic introduces the last member of our currently three-person class, Maus. (You could join too, provided you're easy to draw.) Orson and I talk a lot of shit, but Maus is the only actual athlete amongst us, and probably the hardest working kid in class.

Anyway, I'm off to try my hand and snowboarding again, and hopefully I'll return with tailbone intact, and leg no worse than when I left. Oh, and I take back the jab about the comparing TKD'ers to ostritches: They do have skills.

-Reynard

New Comic - 04 - Koi Style

A new Animal-Fu is born!

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The Wrestler and the Striker

Heya guys! Sorry about the silence, I'm still hobbling around. Not sure exactly what the issue is with my gimp-ass leg. I'm trying to gently re-hab it, after I tried to use it last Thursday on a really low side-kick and succeeded only in making it worse. I caught most of the UFC Fight Night playing Saturday night, and became so rapt with it I ended up staying up til' 2AM watching. I fear this could become a habit. Some good comic fodder in there, though I'm always rooting for the wrong guy, it looks like.

So, I've got a question to submit to readers what got the cajones to discuss its fury. When they're paired up, who are you rooting for? The Wrestler, or the Striker?

I found myself hoping the plucky and technically superior striker would manage to bring down the grappling tank who was chasing him around the cage. Maybe that's just my own dislike of the Brazilian Ju-jitsu, making it difficult for me to ever get behind the grabby folks. But then, the next fight, I was absolutely in awe of some farmboy who obviously grew up greco-roman wrestling, pulling off really fantastic and complex manoeuvres.

Maybe that's what it comes down to. I just want excellence and control, regardless of what you're doing. A striker can look like a martial arts god with a little restraint, but too much fury, and I write him off as a bar-room fratboy slugger.

I'm always impressed with anyone who can weave a good submission and anaconda someone's face off, but I despise the Gracie who runs at his opponent and jumps him like a wet rag and ignores the beating he's receiving because he's too busy applying his arm-bar.

But I'm just an idealist, watching martial artists get beat down by brawlers while softly weeping into a pillow. What do I know? Nuffink! See you on Wednesday with the next comic, which, I assure you, flatters me greatly.

-Rey

New Comic - 03 - Competitive Kicking

Things get a little intense, and then, a little broken.

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Mm, that New Belt Smell...

Hell yeah! I managed to pass on Saturday! Admittedly, the trash talk about cutting stuff with my feets has very firmly bitten me in the ass. Since I was the only person testing today, instead of a full test, the instructors just ran a regular class while paying a little extra attention to me. Made it a pretty low-pressure situation, but as per usual, that didn't keep me from being way too tense, as I perpetually am. I'm getting pretty used to getting critiqued on that point. I need to start taking horse tranquilizers before tests.

Besides tension, there were a few minor slip ups that my internal monologue was screaming at me for doing while I was in the middle of doing them. I got some good advice on a few problem areas, and a few new modifications to technique canon.

Oh, and then I tried to break my leg.

I got through the first board break no problem: Ridge-hand strike (2 Boards). Then there was a Jump Axe Kick (1 Board), and a Hop-in Side Kick (2 Boards). Never made it to the Hop-in Side.

I didn't have the holders lower the Jump-Axe board down far enough, and so I ended up over extending my leg while tipping forward, which, although it broke the board no problem, also hyper extended my knee, and tore up my hamstring. I think. The thing barely supported me the rest of the day, but I did manage to stretch it out enough that I could make the hop-in side break on Sunday, and recover a little pride. I'm hoping it's a pulled muscle and not something more important being actually torn.

Hey, at least I got the belt. Ordered a new heavier uniform (No more of that scratchy cheap-shit canvas), and I'm already looking forward to my next belt.

-Rey

Red Belt Test Tomorrow!

Holy crap, is it time to test for my red belt already? Yeah, I guess so. Tomorrow we find out if I can cut it! (Spoiler: Yes, I can cut it. In half. With my freakin' hand. Or foot.) As to whether I can pass the whole test or not, I dunno. Technique feels okay, if a little unbalanced, but that's always been my problem. I can pack a bunch of grace into stumbling around and it might look okay, but the fact remains, I'm slowly falling down. Yes, I can recover from all sorts of trips, but I should probably stop tripping to begin with.

My forms, I think I've got pretty well covered, though they're sort of the hardest to judge when they're ready. Like a batch of whup-ass cookies, there's no perfect time to leave them in the oven. Of course, I can always improve my execution of a form, and that's where my metaphor goes to shit.

Luckily for me, Ash is a hardass judge of technique, and wouldn't send me in front of a firing squad if she didn't think I could dodge the bullets. Unless I pissed her off somehow... But she couldn't be that vengeful... I hope.

Wish me luck...

-Reynard

News - A Schedule? Never...

So, there's the wrap-up to the first comic. Hope it was worth what little wait there was. Unfortunately, I'm not a quick enough writer or artist, and so updates will be a little sparser from here. Won't be two-parters, though. Next comic is set for Wednesday, Febuary 4th, and I'll be aiming to keep a weekly schedule.

I reserve the right to withhold. Cope.

-Rey

New Comic - 02 - Everyone's Clutching!

Rey makes to the gym for a warm welcome.

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From Childhood Fantasies to Punching Bags.

Hey, Folks.
I figured I should inaugurate the posting of the first strip with some sort of grand introduction. That said, I promise nothing.
Classic open-ended essay question: What am I into the Martial Arts for?
I’m in the martial arts because we have a single life and a single body to operate with. It seems dumb not to be a competent pilot. How people move, especially in the martial arts, is so reflective of them as people, that even outside of Capoiera, which explicitly states it, how you fight is a pure expression of your being.
Besides that, I’ve found that the tiny abstract cosmos that exists within a sparring match, fight, brawl, or gun fight, is the most peaceful and simple place you’re ever going to find.
Peaceful may require some explanation to the uninitiated or the hot-headed. Technical skill, speed, strength, these are all a pain in the ass for me to come up with and use to propel me through a fight. I don’t think I win all that often. But what I think I can conjure easily is the right mindset. I crawl into it like into a warm bed, or, if you like, another vulgar analogy. The eyes lose focus while becoming more watchful, and I stop thinking. I absolutely hate thinking. It’s inescapable, though, and after being bludgeoned into exhaustion by an automatic internal monologue, the rest you can find inside a thoughtless brawl is priceless.
There are certainly other benefits. Efficiency of motion, freedom of movement, good health, meeting people, and of course, the self-defense applications are all good reasons to get involved. And you should, if you haven't already, find a little gym or club what’ll teach you the arts of war. Even if only to find a little slice of that peace.

- Reynard

News - Welcome!

Hi Everyone!
I'm Rey, and I'm the artist behind OMRH. This is my first attempt at a web comic, you should know: be kind. I hadn't drawn anything in a long time before this, so I'm rediscovering the fine art of managing a pencil. I hope the art is moderately satisfactory, but as for the update schedule, I'm not gonna make any wild promises. Quick as we can produce them, we'll publish them, with occasional little scribblings interspersed, and if things go smoothly, we'll get a nicer website, and hey, maybe even a regular update schedule!

Anyway, hope you enjoy the first comic! As it's a two-parter, you can expect the next strip tomorrow.

-Reynard

New Comic - 01 - The New Gym

Ash arrives at the new gym.
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